That's juz another START, I guess....

Perfect Beauty

2011-11-21T22:07:00.001-08:00

Untitle

2011-09-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

I somehow dunno how to entitle this post. I just kind of want to write down my feeling for today. It started with a very good morning. Grandpa left to pagoda since the early morning while I was still on the bed dreaming. He looked so fine as normal. I went to school as usual and finished class around 3:40pm and then I headed to IFL early in order to go to SAC and find some books to read or practice TOEFL. Once I entered SAC and got ready to sit down and read the book, I received a call from dad and then it was disconnected. Therefore, I tried to call him back. It was about 4:00pm. In my mind, it was just a usual call since dad was here now so he might just want to check where I was and when I was going back home. It was just as what I have expected. I told him I was at IFL and I would be home around 8:30 or 9:00 pm. Meanwhile, dad told me this morning grandpa did not feel well and he was in emergency room at Sen Sok Hospital now. Once I heard that my brain was blank. I was like what the hell no one told me about that. After that, I immediately headed to the hospital. Dad was waiting for me at the ground floor. We went in together and I kept asking him like crazy. It seemed like I really cannot wait to meet my grandpa. Once entering the emergency room and seeing grandpa lied on the sickbed equipped with a lot of medical equipment like oxygen masks and stuff, I was like really want to cry out. He looked very serious and I felt deeply guilty. After a while, there were many doctors and nurses entering the room and equipped my grandpa with another type of heart recorder. Dad told me they were going to record grandpa's heart for 24 hours. I somehow was very nervous and my tear really wanted to come out but I tried not to do so since I know grandpa is going to be very sad to see me crying. I have no idea how my brain was functioning that time. Remember when I was on my way from IFL to the hospital, my brain really cannot stop thinking of him. I actually did not really know about his condition by the time. However, this brain stupidly thought about something silly like what would happen if he is gone? MY LIFE SERIOUSLY WOULD SUCK WITHOUT HIM. I really cannot imagine my life without him at all. He is quite old already but he still has to take care of many grand children especially me (I am known as the most favorite grandchildren of him). I really want to say SORRY for what I have done before. I might have hurt him for many times. Remember, last week, I was childishly upset in front of him because I felt like all of my freedom was unreasonably restricted. I promised I will be a good granddaughter from now on. I will never let you down and believe me I am going to keep you proud of me as you always do.

Writing this down, my teardrop is unconsciously dropped down and I am surely know I DO LOVE YOU, GRANDPA. We are all love you. Please get well soon and be totally recovered from that heart disease.

Inspirational song :) The Climb ~

2011-09-18T00:02:00.000-07:00

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/miley-cyrus-lyrics/the-climb-lyrics.html ]

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Ready to Fight :D

2011-09-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

This should have been posted since Sunday but sigh. Motivation and inspiration was not strong enough to urge me to complete this post. Under the title "Ready to Fight", the article should be mainly about the motivation to put more effort and time on the undertaking semester. Before taking about the impression of first few days of this new academic years, I shall recall all the aims I would like to complete during the final year of my university life.

One of the most ambitious objective I am having in mind right now is to become one of the top 10 or 15 (since the amount of students is not clear) at IFL. That really sounds a tough and like I am waiting for miracle again. Although it sounds unlikely, it does not mean impossible,right? (cheers :D) As long as you believe in yourself, nothing is impossible( a cheering cliche or quote or white lie or whatsoever, I hope it helps.) The hardest thing to accomplish this goals should be how to keep yourself MOTIVATED and I strongly believe that writing everything down is one of the best way to keep myself on the right track.

On the other hand, in order to achieve the goal, I have thought of many must-do things which must be taken in the action as much as I can. There are:

- Complete all homework (believe or not, I rarely do my homework last year. @@)

- Attend every session of all subjects ( I almost failed my attendance last year @@)

- Read lessons before class (90% of lessons were left unread last year @@)

- Be active in class (not to hard to accomplish :D)
- Arrange the schedule so I can spend my time wisely (hope so)
- Spend sometime practice TOEFL or IELTS
- at the same time, make balance between IFL and LUCT

- NEVER LET'S THINGS GO (the attitude of "Let's it go" almost brought me a disaster for last semester)

That's what I can think of at the moment. Anyway, Let's talk a little bit about the impression of the beginning of the semester. Erm.. Everything sounds good. At IFL, lectures sound very impressive (Maybe because I am so excited to become English-lecturer-to-be :D) However, it seems like the lessons are quite complicated and it requires a lot of reading and rote learning (I hate remembering lecture). One of the lecturer is quite young and he really gets a sense of humor ( laugh like hell in his class :D) and his teaching is okay okay. I meant he should have explained more but it was okay to me. I found the first lecture was not complicated but my classmates kept complaining. For AL lecturer, he sounds so professional and he has successfully to put more effort and time on his subject. That sounds great, right? Will see how his teaching style work with me later since we do not really have lecture with him yet. The last lecturer is TM(Teaching Methodology). Sigh. The content of the lecture sounds very interesting but too bad, he is too old to make us laugh maybe. His lecture are damn boring. I almost fell asleep for a few times. @@ If the lecture keeps going on like this, TM class gonna be the most comfortable zone for everyone to sleep.

For LUCT, lecture becomes more complicated and professional especially in design class. Maybe there is not many things to talk now but later since we have not reached STRESS ZONE yet. By the way, I have decided not to drop any subjects by now. Hope motivation and inspiration is fully stored until the end of the year.

Although today I had class whole day, I could manage to write many things down here. Hope this can last longer though. haha...

That's all for today. If any of you happen to read this, pls REMIND ME TO KEEP ON THE RIGHT TRACK. haha.. Thx in advance :D

YAY! We have successfully lied to THE WORLD.

2011-09-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

YAY! Mission completed. We have successfully lied to THE WORLD. But am I that happy?? -.- The relationship that was last for 2 days? Once I was listed as "in relationship with PC Heyday", it was like THE WORLD WAS CHEERING AND BLESSING US AND EVERYONE KEPT SAYING CONGRATULATION. Surprisingly, I have got like 20 likes and 20 people comments in 12 minutes and a lot of tagged and wallposts asking about the relationship like how it begins and stuff (I was questioning like OMG, I cant breath). Finally it ends up with 60 likes and 70+ comments in one day. That's a big surprise for me. Among those comments, some was like o.O what? is it real? I guess it was the most shocked relationship ever that my friends would ever seen on Facebook. Some people was like how they should call us when it came to something like this-one is senior and another one is friend in the same generation. No doubt, people tend to react differently when girl is older than the guy. That's why one in a million that girl does not care about age. People keep saying "age is just a number". However, it can be seen that we have become the topic of many people's discussion. Some friends even asked me like "are u going to marry to him? he is so young." I was shocked, really and speechless at the same time. Some was like "Congratulation, you are finally wanted." He or she really made me feel like an unwanted product which is not demanded by the current market :(. However, I believe that some friends are really care about what I am doing and who I am with especially bro Vendy. Once he saw the changed relationship status, he was so curious and kept asking how the story began and how long we had been in love and stuff. To tell you the truth, I really do not know how to respond. I could not imagine that he would turn out to be damn mad at us once he knew the relationship was fake. I know it was my fault like once he made sure with me about it, I should not have lied to him. Toward PC, I can say that I have no romantic feeling at all. To me, he is just a good junior. That's it. I think that's the reason why I could not even make up a nice love story to prank people. More importantly, it even sounds awkward when we called each another "Dear". haha... That's funny,right? Well, let me tell how it begins. Actually, I and my junior-PC, have no intention to lie any friends or invest our friendship to it just for the sake of having fun. Actually, I do not think my friends would not mind about such prank since it is not an original idea though. That's why we did it. At that time, PC came up with the idea of being in relationship with me and we changed our profile picture to the same picture which was taken during Culture day at IFL. Once I learned about the request, I did not reject because I knew it gonna be fun. I really wanted to see my friends' reaction when I am in relationship with my junior. Frankly, I just wanted to know some certain people's reaction only (I wish he believed it was true then I could see his reaction. He disappointed me >.<). It can be seen that some believed and some really DON'T. I think those who don't are really my friends. They surely know that I would not have such boyfriend, maybe. Honestly speaking, I myself would not believe that I would be in relationship with such young and handsome guy. Haha... People keeps saying PC is a nice guy and stuff although they have no idea who is PC Heyday. LMAO.. Anyway, another thing that surprised me was the reaction of one of my friend who followed me for 3 years and now he finally got a girlfriend. haha.. I was surprised to see him being so caring although I have hurted him a lot back in the end of high school life and the beginning of university journey. He has questioned me a lot about the updated relationship status. He kept admiring PC. Ridiculously, he was acting like knowing PC and when i asked PC, PC has no idea who that guy is. However, I know he still cares about me. Was that a mistake that I did not accept his confess at that time? haha... Anyway, being in the status of having boyfriend was..... haha.. I really could not find the best adjective to describe the feeling. I kinda feel like it has become a dilemma. I really have no idea if I also want a boyfriend or I am really happy with my singlehood. The desire of having a special person may be just the consequence of peer pressure. I cannot deny that. Seeing almost all classmates having their lovers and whenever we hang out they bring theirs along is I somehow have become an alien in the group. Walking alone on the beach while the other holding their gf/bf's hand was the most unforgettable experience( There are something more than this). However, I am sure I would not have enough time to get a boyfriend though. Maybe being single is the best thing at the moment. At least, I got a SINGLE-PEOPLE gangs to hang out with. That's enough. Cheers ! :)

Another new semester starts!

2011-09-05T09:57:00.001-07:00

Today is the first day of new semester, Y2S2. Sigh! Time flies. The excitement of being a freshman was like happened yesterday and now I am already in Year3. The thing is that I don't think I have learn a lot. Maybe I heard too many things about disaster in working place, that's why I start thinking if I am capable to work when I am graduated. The first session at school today was Architectural Technology 4. It seems to be a good start. Lecturer's background were impressive. The module sounds interesting. In the middle of the lecture, Rinbo came and talked about his subject. I know it is gonna be tough to get A in his class as he warned. LOL.. And once he saw me he asked about the Museum Project. I somehow felt so ashamed since I couldnt mange to finish it on time as he wishes. It sucks again. I really have no idea how my working life is going to be. Because of curiosity of real life as an architect, I have questioned him a lot about it. RInbo and my new lecturer-Sokbil told us a lot about the profession in construction field. They DID make me feel like architect is a very professional profession. I kinda feel like I am going to take a huge responsibility in the future. Maybe I was too proud of myself back then. I was on phone with mum yesterday and she asked a lot about my future work and study plan. I was ashamed again. Didn't I promise to her that I will study hard and get scholarship abroad in two years after finishing high school? Sorry Mum and Dad. She promised to send me abroad next year. Honestly speaking, I would not be happy if I go abroad without scholarship. Well, past is history and tomorrow is mystery. There is nothing I can do to change the past. However, maybe that could happen in the future. Who knows? (I can be called as a lie to myself or a motivation to keep working toward the dreamed goal). Anyway, I don't know why but first day of school is always a very important day to me. It is like whether it is a good start or not. Each and every beginning of new semester, I always think of new academic year resolution and setting the academic goals. However, the main point should be whether the motivation can be kept until the end of the semester or not. Because last semester I did not get as good grade as i planned and I think because I am doing two degrees at the same time, that's why I did not accomplish the set goal. Nevertheless, it is more like i played too hard and let things go to often. I know that these last few years' transcript are very important for applying scholarship. But somehow I also don't know what the hell I am doing at school. More importantly, it is also the final year at IFL. Life is gonna be much tougher, I am sure. Hope I could survive with flying colour at both universities.(That could be miracle).
So this year resolution should be less active on Facebook (and why I am so addicted? @@), do not be late at school (I hate morning class because I am a night owl), make a good balance between IFL and LKW (I know it is hard because architecture always comes first), MUST IMPROVE MY PROFICIENCY SCORE(my English sucks and I am senior at IFL >.<), visit SAC more often please.. Those are what I could think of at the moment.
Overall, today was a good start! YAY, 4.00, I will do whatever it takes to get you @@

Say hi to blogspot again :)

2011-09-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

Again, blogging. I have no idea how long it gonna last. However, I am sure this is rather a diary and I think I was inspired by Molika's ghost story (haha.. nothing is scary there, believe me), joey's blog(although there are only two short articles there.. haha) and bro shin's blog which is more about showing off about his forever-friendship with his gangs. Before, I decided to create a blog just for the sake of showing off my design works at school as I saw many architectural students do. However, maybe time does not allow me to do so or I was just too lazy to update every single work of mine which consists of poor and good work. Well, whatsoever.. I believe this time blogging will give me a space to TYPE OUT LOUD whatever I want to say. Maybe it is gonna be a good place to release all the STRESS, I hope. Again, it seems to be a good start but I am not sure if there will be a good ending. Maybe blogging also provides me a space to escape from Facebook. haha...