Untitle

I somehow dunno how to entitle this post. I just kind of want to write down my feeling for today. It started with a very good morning. Grandpa left to pagoda since the early morning while I was still on the bed dreaming. He looked so fine as normal. I went to school as usual and finished class around 3:40pm and then I headed to IFL early in order to go to SAC and find some books to read or practice TOEFL. Once I entered SAC and got ready to sit down and read the book, I received a call from dad and then it was disconnected. Therefore, I tried to call him back. It was about 4:00pm. In my mind, it was just a usual call since dad was here now so he might just want to check where I was and when I was going back home. It was just as what I have expected. I told him I was at IFL and I would be home around 8:30 or 9:00 pm. Meanwhile, dad told me this morning grandpa did not feel well and he was in emergency room at Sen Sok Hospital now. Once I heard that my brain was blank. I was like what the hell no one told me about that. After that, I immediately headed to the hospital. Dad was waiting for me at the ground floor. We went in together and I kept asking him like crazy. It seemed like I really cannot wait to meet my grandpa. Once entering the emergency room and seeing grandpa lied on the sickbed equipped with a lot of medical equipment like oxygen masks and stuff, I was like really want to cry out. He looked very serious and I felt deeply guilty. After a while, there were many doctors and nurses entering the room and equipped my grandpa with another type of heart recorder. Dad told me they were going to record grandpa's heart for 24 hours. I somehow was very nervous and my tear really wanted to come out but I tried not to do so since I know grandpa is going to be very sad to see me crying. I have no idea how my brain was functioning that time. Remember when I was on my way from IFL to the hospital, my brain really cannot stop thinking of him. I actually did not really know about his condition by the time. However, this brain stupidly thought about something silly like what would happen if he is gone? MY LIFE SERIOUSLY WOULD SUCK WITHOUT HIM. I really cannot imagine my life without him at all. He is quite old already but he still has to take care of many grand children especially me (I am known as the most favorite grandchildren of him). I really want to say SORRY for what I have done before. I might have hurt him for many times. Remember, last week, I was childishly upset in front of him because I felt like all of my freedom was unreasonably restricted. I promised I will be a good granddaughter from now on. I will never let you down and believe me I am going to keep you proud of me as you always do. 

Writing this down, my teardrop is unconsciously dropped down and I am surely know I DO LOVE YOU, GRANDPA. We are all love you. Please get well soon and be totally recovered from that heart disease.